Why exhaustion is killing your libido and what naturopathy can do about it

Low libido is one of the most common things I see in clinic — and one of the least talked about. This post is for the woman who is doing everything right and still feels nothing. The one who loves her partner but can't find desire anywhere. The one who wonders if something is wrong with her.

Nothing is wrong with you. But something needs attention.

Let's start here: backing away from burnout

The top reason I see in clinic for missing libido is exhaustion. Women having to do it all, and then expecting themselves to have desire too.

We can't expect an exhausted, under-fed, over caffeinated, bone-tired woman to want to engage in sex. Let alone find it pleasurable.

There is no quick fix for exhaustion. A conscious decision to aim to restore health and edge away from burnout is the only way back.

Eat breakfast

A protein, a fibre and a fat. Each and every morning. At its simplest this can be a protein powder (aim for one that will give you 25g protein minimum), nut butter (ABC is a nice choice), mylk of choice and mixed berries in a Nutribullet. That is a completely fine breakfast. Well done.

Remove stimulants

I always recommend doing this through gradual reduction. You're reaching for caffeine for a reason. A mindful decision to reduce the number of shots in your morning cafe order, swapping black tea for green tea or coffee for chai are all ways we can still have that small stimulant effect whilst we reduce the dependency.

Hydration

Herbal teas work really beautifully here. You can also do an overnight water infusion for a deeper medicinal drink. For exhaustion and fatigue reach for Nettle or Avena for nourishment.

Rest & sleep

Of course, doing less is essential. So much easier said than done. When we're tired (nee exhausted!) it's almost a balm to stare at our phones for too long and numb out. Because we've made a decision too gently try and come back from exhaustion, can we still allow ourselves this numbing time, but cut it slightly shorter than we would? Either move yourself to bed, read a book or go sit in the sunshine. Small wins in this realm are compounding wins.

Do your blood work

The above changes won't be able to undo anaemia, low vitamin D or an undiagnosed thyroid concern. Get your blood work up to date and screen for any underlying drivers. Your naturopath will help you interpret these results and get you to an optimal level where we can start to edge back from the exhaustion, and amongst everything else, help desire to return.

Aphrodisiac herbs

Shatavari: A very traditional sexual tonic herb whose name translates to "she who possesses a hundred husbands." As well as being considered an aphrodisiac, Shatavari is a deeply nourishing female tonic, demonstrating both adaptogenic and oestrogenic effects, possibly connected to its aphrodisiac properties.

Damiana: Originating from Mexico and a popular aphrodisiac amongst the Mayans, Damiana works by inhibiting the aromatase enzyme, slowing the conversion of testosterone to oestrogen and leaving more free testosterone circulating. Worth noting — this may not be the right herb for everyone. Women with PCOS tend to have elevated testosterone already, so always check with your naturopath before using.

Adrenal support

Licorice- a naturopath's favourite, and occasional foe, for adrenal support. It's not suitable for everyone, but for those it suits it can help restore energy, resilience and stamina in cases of ongoing chronic fatigue. Contraindicated in many, so check with your herbalist or naturopath before using, even as a tea.

Rhodiola- a key adaptogenic herb. An adaptogen is a herb that increases the ability to improve resistance to chemical, biological and physical stressors. I tell my clients that adaptogens help us walk through life a little easier.

Fifteen minutes a night

Take 15 minutes each night to go into your room and care for you. A bath, your skincare, a book. Light a candle. Put on music that makes you feel like yourself. This is your time to care for you, adorn you, and worship you.

Any of this feels like you?

If any of this resonated, I'd love to support you properly. Book a naturopathic consultation and we'll look at the full picture together. Your hormones, your blood work, your herbs, and a personalised plan that's built around you.

Kim Patterson is a naturopath and herbalist based in Cranbourne South, seeing clients in clinic and via Telehealth across Australia